Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
