I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
