either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
