My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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