They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
