I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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