The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
