Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
