Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
