I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
