Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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