Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
