Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
