can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
