Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize