Don't you send me to vm
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just threw up on my dentist
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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