My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
