Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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