I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I AM VODKA MAN
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
