Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
