official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize