Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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