There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
