Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
