Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
