there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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