You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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