You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
