so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.