can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...