She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...