Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig

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  (314): My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig http://tfl.nu/q8sk
  Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (802)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Its not alright that i make out with a manican.

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  (404): Its not alright that i make out with a manican. http://tfl.nu/ol2k
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (900)
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
  Replies (28) Good night (7767) Bad night (684)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5587) Bad night (767)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

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  (917): So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat http://tfl.nu/4q7b
  Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (5777)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8446) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  we already have meals planned for the weekend.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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  (864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s
  Replies (13) Good night (5022) Bad night (1014)
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  (310): View more from California

  Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Shall we take a trip back?

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  (310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1868) Bad night (517)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

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  (724): Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy. http://tfl.nu/yszi
  Replies (2) Good night (1680) Bad night (486)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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  (412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b
  Replies (8) Good night (1139) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You need Xanax blowdarts

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  (513): You need Xanax blowdarts http://tfl.nu/5mba
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (303)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."

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  (402): It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head." http://tfl.nu/sgl1
  Replies (8) Good night (659) Bad night (277)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...

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  (856): his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits... http://tfl.nu/dl6r
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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  (571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (233)

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