what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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