um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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