We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
