Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
