You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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