Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
