I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
