we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
a search helicopter?!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual