I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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