I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.