bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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