There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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