Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
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Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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