she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
