I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
