Umm I'm too high to move.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
