It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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