I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize