I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
