The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's always time for handjobs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize