I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize