they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
