I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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