Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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