How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
